Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Open Call for Menopause Horror Stories

'Move forward ten years. Do not pass go, do not collect $200'

You get a whole deck of interesting game cards with cancer. But that's the card I have a hard time laughing at.

I've been reading that after chemo and hormone therapy, a woman's body ages about ten years in terms of metabolism and fat/muscle ratios. Add a fast-track into menopause to that.

Good note? I work with a huge group of smart and sexy 50-ish/60-ish types. I can handle being a part of that club.

Bad note? Menopause. Shit.

I just did a hugely hormonal decade of pregnancies and breast-feeding.

My 20s were all about weekend long crying fits on the damn pill.

My 40s, at least my early 40s, were supposed to be a brief period of centeredness and emotional stability!!

So bring them on girlfriends. I need horror stories. When this emotional ship starts hitting those emotional rocks, I want stories of such horror that when I find myself locking bathroom door and running the shower to cover my screams of hormonal frustration, I can remember you and tell myself I'm doing a pretty damn good job at handling it all!!

WARNING: If you are NOT menopausal or post-menopausal, you risk a verbal slap upside the head if you even *try* to participate in this conversation. No cards, no books, no comments from anyone who ain't been there, done that.

Fluid Stats:

Left side: 50 ml
Right side: 130 ml

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