My insurance denied the chemo that allow me to keep my hair. The wrestling with the insurance company and the increasing awareness of bony aches and pain and liver tenderness has been taking up the little emotional bandwith I carry with me. It's interesting how I can feel happy and fine and strong -- and not realize anything is really happening to me emotionally until a small crisis, that usually wouldn't overwhelm me, feels a bit mountainous.
So I got an expensive haircut and bought a new pair of boots. I invested in some high quality makeup and indulged in a facial.
Cutting my hair feels strong, an act of control over a body that is slipping out of control.
But I'm not feeling the power. Not today.
So I decided to work it through here and write up a top ten great things about being bald.
- You don't need a swim cap.
- No embarrassing swimsuit line shaving issues.
- People give you spontaneous, heartfelt gifts. All the time. Everywhere.
- You don't feel guilty spending $200 on makeup and earrings.
.... I'm having a hard time thinking of any more after 4.
Sigh.
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